Helping Kids Find a Star to Aim At
Choosing a destination is the first step on a great quest
There is an argument that any aim is better than none. Being purposeful requires having an end in mind. It is hard to have any direction if you have no notion of where you might want to go. Having an aim informs how we allocate our attention; it allows us to act with intent and direct our mental efforts accordingly. Kids should be encouraged to dream at any point in their childhood, but once they reach their early teens we can start to get more detailed and specific. Early adolescence is when young performers’ cognitive capacities for long-term planning and goal-directed action really start to emerge.
In an academic setting, when students invest the time to elaborate their aims and define some personal goals this not only improves their grades but also makes it less likely that they will drop out. Logically, it follows that kids are more likely to be motivated and remain engaged if they are clear on what it is they are doing there. Coming up with a detailed vision of what they are seeking to achieve makes it more likely that kids will choose to attend class and do the work even when they are not feeling motivated. It similarly makes it more likely they will persevere and stay the course when things get tough. Clearly all of this is highly relevant to student-athletes! More broadly, becoming well-practised at goal-setting and working towards an aim in the domain of sport will bring benefits and develop important tools for success in school and their professional lives.
Coming up with an aim practically means prompting kids to envision where they might want to end up. Who their heroes are in sport and life offers some important clues. A good starting point is for kids to think about who they admire and what sporting exploits impress and inspire them. It pays to then dig a little deeper into what specifically it is about their sporting idols that impresses them and examining what traits and qualities they possess that allow them to be successful. This way, rather than directly emulating their exploits, kids can strive to embody the essence of the performers they admire without necessarily restricting themselves to that specific sport or playing position.
Figuring out what they do not want to do is also a good way to narrow the search. Practically it is very unlikely that the first star a young performer chooses to aim at will be the one that they ultimately settle on. Understanding that whatever aim or ambition they come up with is provisional takes a lot of the pressure off to get it right first time. The most sure way is to figure it out through a process of elimination. In other words, they can try out a series of different aims and see what sticks. Most of us try on a number of different ambitions and life goals along the way before we find one that fits, so kids and parents should begin with the expectation that this will likely be the case.
It is nonetheless important to revisit aims and objectives periodically to make sure that the young performer is not chasing the wrong dream - or worse still, a dream that is not theirs. Perseverence is a virtue as long as they do not become slave to an aim that no longer reflects their true desires or ambitions in life. Doing some homework to get a sense of what it might actually be like if they were to succeed and whether the day-to-day reality is a life that they would actually enjoy is a very good idea.
Part of the process of elaborating an aim is picturing the person and performer they will need to become in order to achieve the aim they have set for themselves. Imagining the successful future version of themselves is a good exercise as this then becomes the model that they can seek to emulate. This imagined future self can act as their guide for how to approach their work and how they should behave in different scenarios. The best version of their future self becomes the standard they hold themselves to on a day-to-day basis. What would the successful future me do in this scenario? Is my present approach and attitude in keeping with what my future self would find acceptable. Are my efforts and actions consistent with how my ideal future self would conduct themselves?
The purpose of envisioning their ultimate aim is not only to provide direction and set a standard but also to provide fuel and spur young performers on. Developing a vision for the future should include imagining the scenes that might play out if their ultimate ambition was achieved. For instance, they could imagine the elation, the sense of satisfaction and the celebrations that would follow the successful completion of the quest. Young athletes should give their imagination free rein to visualise their moment of triumph with as much colour and detail as possible, such that it inspires awe and a tangible sense of excitement.
As well as being clear on what they are aiming towards and it is also helpful to have a clear picture of what they should run away from. So in addition to coming up with a positive vision, it is good for kids to imagine the alternative negative scenario they are seeking to avoid. This might include envisioning where they do not want to end up and the person do not want to become. Again, this exercise is important not only to provide direction but to fuel their motivation to stay on their chosen path by being mindful of the potential negative consequences and regrets that might otherwise ensue.
Ultimately, whatever aspiration they choose it should be, well, aspirational. We must encourage young performers to dare to dream. In other words, they should aim for the stars. Even if they are not yet ready to share it with others, it should be a lofty aim that they find both inspiring and daunting to contemplate. It should be something that others would find at least a little unrealistic and pushing towards the outer limits of what is attainable.
It is no coincidence that the most inspirational people in sport and other realms of human endeavour attempt what others don’t even dare to contemplate and in doing so redefine our concept of what is humanly possible. The great thing about chasing the seemingly impossible dream and giving their all in the pursuit is that even if they fall short they will still end up somewhere impressive and in the process do things that they can be proud of. In striving to do something extraordinary they will likely succeed in achieving something remarkable.