Practising Courage on the Youth Sport Journey
How we can use sport to help kids discover the secrets to becoming braver
The idea that courage is something that can be developed may be a revelation to many kids and aspiring young performers. The process by which we cultivate courage is also counterintuitive. On the face of it, things that make us apprehensive or appear threatening would seem to be best avoided. Where dragons roam the sensible option would seem to be to hide away somewhere safe and hope that the danger passes us by. But of course, fortune favours the brave. Rather than cowering, it is the courageous individual who opts to go forth and seek out the dragon in its lair who wins out. Such acts of courage are rewarded, if not with treasure then in other ways, not least helping the protagonist to become more confident and powerful.
For coaches and parents seeking to teach kids to practice bravery, a necessary starting point is to help them to understand what courage is. Kids often imagine that those who are brave are fearless or free from doubt. This is not the case. Real bravery is experiencing fear, doubt and even dread but nevertheless opting to proceed. We cannot extinguish fear or doubt. But through our actions we can become braver.
Moral virtues such as courage are a matter of habit or persistent patterns of behaviour. What this means is that courage can be cultivated through our actions. In other words, if we act with courage on a consistent basis we can make ourselves more courageous as a result. Moreover, regular practice of courage turns out to transfer to other realms. To use a specific example, acting with courage in the realm of sport can help kids to become more courageous in other aspects of their lives.
Childhood and adolescence are a process of becoming. We should encourage kids to strive to become the type of person they aspire to be - that is, somebody they can be proud of. In essence, we should encourage kids to assume the role of hero in their own story. The youth sports journey can serve as their adventure or heroic quest. This can seem like a stretch, as they may not perceive themselves as heroic or courageous. What we should point out is that any hero’s story is a tale of transformation. The hero does not start out as a hero but becomes one by the end of the story as a result of the trials he or she goes through on their quest and the acts of courage they perform along the way.
It is widely recognised that sport helps kids to build confidence. What is often overlooked is this application of sport in adolescence - the time in our lives when we are at our most self conscious and sensitive to social judgement. The youth sports journey provides ample exposure to trials and tribulations. In turn, it also offers abundant opportunities to become braver. In choosing to take these opportunities kids develop a more favourable impression of themselves (after all, genuine self-esteem is a product of our actions).
Competitive sport demands a degree of bravery - even at youth level. We should acknowledge the courage it takes to engage in competition. Depending on the sport there can be an element of physical courage but arguably more notable is the courage required to confront fears and grapple with insecurities. For a start, entering into the contest means accepting the possibility of losing. Even school- and low stakes junior-level competition means putting fledgling egos on the line, as young performers subject themselves to the scrutiny of onlookers and social judgement.
Expectations and social evaluation are two of the most potent sources of perceived pressure. Parents and coaches share a responsibility to be the grown-ups and we need to do what we can to relieve or at least not add to this perceived pressure. How we conduct ourselves on the sidelines and the tone of our interactions once the contest is over communicate what we deem to be important.
Hopefully it goes without saying, but how we treat kids should not be contingent upon the outcome of the contest or how they performed on the day. We should celebrate kids simply for volunteering to participate in the contest. Whether they win or lose, the act of stepping into the arena in itself elevates them above those on the sidelines.
We should similarly acknowledge and incentivise courageous behaviour within the arena. We should encourage young performers to be the person who puts their hand up during the decisive moments in the contest rather than shrinking into the background. We should also praise kids for having the courage to try things and take the game to the opposition rather than playing it safe. Whether it comes off or not, the willingness to be inventive, to be bold and express themselves are courageous traits that are worth reinforcing.
With kids in general and aspiring young performers in particular there is often a need to change how they view things that make them apprehensive or fearful. When the prospect of doing something seems daunting it is a good sign that it is a worthy challenge. It is the very things that test our mettle that prove to be worth pursuing and bring the greatest benefits. Scenarios that young performers might otherwise perceive to be threatening or anxiety-inducing can be represented as challenges and opportunities that might bring rewards and advance them along their journey.
We can also help kids to reframe how they relate to conditions of pressure. What thoughts and emotions are elicited depend not only on our interpretation of the situation but also how we choose to approach it. Returning to the dragon example, when we choose to go towards the threat and seek out the thing that frightens us of our own accord, this changes everything (even down to the physiological response that is elicited). By choosing to voluntarily engage on our own terms we have the power to transform the situation into a challenge that beckons rather than threat that looms. We can take this a step further and encourage aspiring young performers to actively seek out scenarios that make them apprehensive and purposely use them for sparring practice.
Finally, one of most effective ways to foster the habit of acting with courage is to surround yourself with courageous people. Here again, youth sport offers kids a rich environment where they can associate with other courageous individuals who choose to step into the arena rather than being part of the crowd who opt to stay on the sidelines.