Thinking Ahead and Aiming Up
Helping kids look towards the future to get clear direction and fuel for the journey
Youth sports serve a variety of purposes for children and teens, but realising the value requires giving some thought to what they want to get out of participating. I am fond of the phrase ‘aspiring young performer’, which of course implies that the individual has a particular aspiration. Unfortunately, too often the aim is not specified, kept extremely vague or is simply assumed. Moreover, as the young performer matures their outlook and attitudes can change dramatically, so we may find that our assumptions are out of date. When kids are not engaged it is often because they are unclear on why they are there and what they are seeking from the experience. So it is worth taking the time and prompting young performers to look ahead and think about where they might want their youth sports journey to take them. Giving proper consideration to these questions will help them to make full use of the opportunities that are on offer and act in ways that serve the best interests of their future selves.
Kids and teens tend to live in the moment. This is not necessarily a bad thing and is actually advantageous in some circumstances - such as when competing. But a lack of forethought tends to leave kids without a clear sense of direction. It is difficult to participate in a purposeful manner without having some idea of what their purpose is for being there. After all, how can you act with intent in the moment if haven’t given any thought to where you might want to end up? In the absence of a grand plan, individuals can find themselves reacting to whatever happens from moment to moment, such that they default to a situation where their actions are governed by external factors. Without an aim to guide them, kids are prone to being carried away by whatever currents they happen to encounter and subject to every passing whim.
Early adolescence is a key phase of development for the executive functions involved in long-term planning. It follows that as kids approach their teens, we should encourage them to be more intentional in the decisions they make and the actions they take on a daily basis. For girls this tends to arise sooner, in part because they tend to be more amenable but also because they reach adolescence roughly two years earlier than boys on average. That said, boys often benefit the most from engaging in goal-setting and undertaking an exercise in long-term planning.
The first step is for the young performer to recognise their own agency and realise that these are in fact choices they are making. There might not be too much deliberation, but they are nevertheless choosing a certain course of action. Perhaps they are opting not to act or engage; either way, it is their choice. They might be going with the flow or going along with what they think is expected of them, but this too is a choice; it is in their power to choose to do something different, they are just choosing not to exercise this power.
Once this is acknowledged, we can help the young performer to understand that the choices they make have consequences. It might not be apparent at the time, but day-to-day decisions and actions have a bearing on their future direction and over time serve to determine where they end up. Some of the choices that they are currently making might be closing doors to an alternative future.
As the grown-ups, we need to help young performers to create the space to look ahead, mull over where they might want to end up and consider where their present trajectory might be taking them. Kids are increasingly bombarded with inputs, not least from devices in their pockets as a ready source of distraction, so unless they are unusually focussed and forward-looking it is unlikely that they will do this in any rigorous way without being prompted. Practically, this is best achieved through a structured exercise, such as the one presented at the end of this post, and ideally should be done in conjunction with the coach as well as the parent.
A major obstacle to engaging in planning and looking ahead into the distant future is that it can all seem very abstract. The first step towards operating on a longer timeline is to give some thought to what their desired future might look like. Running some simulations in their mind helps to make it all more tangible.
As they ponder some potential future scenarios, the young performer will likely come up with a best case or ideal future. In turn, we should prompt them to consider the alternatives were events to take a different course, including the potential worst case scenario if things really do go awry. This allows the young performer to come up with their own conception of an ideal future that they are inspired to strive towards, as well as envisioning the prospective negative outcomes that they should seek to avoid. Understanding what they wish to go towards as well as what they want to go away from provides added impetus, essentially giving them a push from behind to accompany the pull from ahead.
Imagining an ideal future that they are inspired to work towards not only provides direction and drive but also allows them to be more systematic in how they approach the quest. Once they have specified their aim it becomes possible to reverse engineer the potential routes and landmark achievements that will get them to the desired destination. In other words, they can make a plan and identify some clear objectives for the multi-year pursuit. From these plans and interim objectives will follow a defined series of steps and set of actions. Importantly they can also gain some initial impetus by identifying the immediate action items that will help them take the next step towards achieving the ultimate aim.
These thought-experiments serve to paint a more vivid picture of the destination and journey ahead in a way that is helpful for engagement and commitment. What would life look like if they were successful? Conversely, what would it mean if things did not go as intended? How upset they would be (or not) if things did not turn out in their favour? Thinking about the different ways things might play out and what the diverging outcomes would mean to them is helpful to gauge how committed they are to the pursuit. Deciding to pursue a future aim means opting to invest their time engaging in certain activities (practice, training, competition, etc.) and this necessarily means foregoing others. Getting an honest appraisal of how important it is to them and where it ranks among their other priorities, such as school, social activities and other pursuits, is therefore important.
By extension, this affords the opportunity to examine what they are currently doing and assess whether it is congruent with their stated aim. In other words, it is serving the mission? The young performer should ponder these questions in looking at how they are spending their time and what choices they are making. Is this getting me closer to where I want to go? Is this getting in the way? Are the choices that I am currently making taking me in the wrong direction and harming my chances of attaining my ultimate aim?
Finally, we should be clear that future aims, objectives and plans are all provisional and subject to revision. The specifics of the plan are not so important as the fact that there is one. A young person is by definition a work in progress and so it follows that the ultimate destination remains subject to change as they advance on their journey. Rather than a one-off exercise, this should be revisited periodically. Understanding that they can return to the exercise at any time and revise their aims as necessary helps to take the pressure off and overcome the natural reticence to commit themselves to a future aim.
Exercise originally presented in Sports Parenting and re-shared here with permission:
Step One: Begin by identifying a long-term aspiration. What is the highest aim you can conceive of that you might want to pursue? (e.g. ‘I want to be an Olympian’)*
Step Two: Identify the stepping-stones. Imagine you are at base camp – what are the major landmarks on the ascent towards the summit (defined as the ultimate aim in step one)?
Step Three: Working back from step two, what changes and improvements will allow you to advance towards the interim checkpoints identified? Identify the priority areas to work on over the coming period (3-6 months) which will allow you to make the next big step.
Step Four: How will you triangulate where you are now, track your progress and
navigate your way to the next stage on the journey?
Step Five: Finally, set an intention for the short-term (‘this is what I will do this month, this week, today…’). Now get cracking!
*This can all be changed or updated down the line, so no need to feel daunted about specifying a future aim!